What It Means to Be a Wombyn

Living in a Man's World

Dear Reader,

There are days when a womb carrier might feel guilty for taking a day off from work—whether it’s due to cramping, fatigue, body aches, or, to be completely transparent, having absolutely no fucks left to give that day. So why the guilt, you might ask, if she doesn’t care about anything? Well, it’s because there’s an underlying societal program running in the background that every woman eventually faces. To be considered equal in a “man’s world,” we often feel we must match a man’s pace, including faking the steady energy of testosterone. But here’s the truth: the typical 9-to-5, five-day-a-week work schedule was not designed for women.

Let’s break this down: for one week, thirteen weeks of the year (that’s 25% of the time), we are bleeding. And despite what many men might believe, this isn’t some minor inconvenience like a nosebleed. It’s more like little fists pounding against the most sensitive internal organs while your life force drains out between your legs for 4-6 days straight. Add in the mood swings, fatigue, and a constant pull to retreat inward, and it’s a lot more complex than just showing up to work as if nothing’s different.

Now, some of you might think I sound bitter. No, no—this is simply my raw emotion speaking, as I’m currently on day two of my moon cycle (the heaviest day). So why am I writing to you instead of resting? Because today I fought a battle within myself—a battle between self-care and guilt. The guilt of feeling obligated and responsible. There’s a reason why so many women in my generation prefer to work on their own schedules rather than following the rigid structure of a man’s routine. It’s the social norm, yes, but it’s not necessarily our norm.

This past month, I’ve reconnected with what it truly means to be a woman. I’m all for the modern “boss babe” movement, but at the same time, I see the contradictions within it. Women are pushing to fit into this world instead of challenging what the world could look like. Many women today are making more money than their male counterparts, and I applaud them for their drive. It feels empowering to support myself and not depend on a man. But during that one week every 26-28 days, I just want to melt into the floor and have someone bring me food while I bleed into the Earth.

I’m a supporter of the empowered woman, but I also have to ask—what about the masculine? The more masculine women become in order to compete in this world, the more feminine men have to become to maintain balance. So how does an empowered woman still embody her feminine? Where is the sacred space for us to soften? We must give ourselves permission to be tender and vulnerable. And yet, the masculine part of me scoffs at this notion. It wants to plan and navigate the waters of the world with careful consideration of the stars, tides, and season. Anyone else with me here?

But this morning, on a workday no less, I asked myself, “What would it feel like to just give in and melt into a day of self-care?” My whole body softened, the anxiety in my heart fell away, and peace rose up to take its place. That is, until the guilt of “slacking off” came roaring in—“How dare you rest when you’re supposed to be working?!” But the nurturer in me, the part that understands balance, stepped in. “I hear your sense of duty,” it said, “and I honor it. But I promise you, the world won’t end because you chose to listen.”

In the women’s work I’ve been so blessed to be a part of, I’ve seen so much dis-ease among us as we try to do everything. It’s no wonder so many of our cycles are out of sync, and the masculine feels confused about where it fits in relationships. We’re currently experiencing the lowest birth rate in decades, and that says something about how we’re living. This shift doesn’t have to be a destructive one, but it does require a push in the right direction.

So, in my act of “playing hooky” today, I’m not slacking off—I’m fighting for a different way of being. I’m resting to stand up for what it truly means to be a wombyn. A woman who listens to her body, honors her cycles, and challenges the norm, not by doing more, but by embracing the power of doing less.

It’s time we give ourselves permission to soften, to rest, to bleed, and to exist in our full feminine power without the guilt of living in a world not designed for us. And maybe, just maybe, in doing so, we’ll help guide this world to a new way of being—one where balance and rest are honored, not shamed.

Cheers to the all womb carriers,