Addicted to LOVE
Navigating the Seas of Connection and Self-Discovery
Dear Reader,
People often ask me how I'm doing, and I find myself grappling for the right feelings to convey. In a world where there seems to be limited control, I often feel a sense of defeat or forced surrender. Despite not being physically alone, there are times when I feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, as if I'm navigating life on my own without someone to truly confide in or share my innermost thoughts and work. My attachments to the people in my life run deep, and the encroachment of distance on these intimate connections feels unsettling. It's as if intimacy is my most treasured love languageāa quiet, vulnerable space where the doors of the heart swing wide open, saturating the environment with authentic connection.
Crowded spaces, with their challenges to stay focused and overwhelming sensory input, don't resonate with me. Instead, my happy place lies in those quiet moments when connection takes center stage. I used to seek this sensation through physical intimacy, confusing passion for closeness and attraction for connection. My therapist recently suggested that for empaths like me, merging with others can be quite seductive. It's often easier for us to help and serve others than to extend that same care to ourselves. We may prefer merging with another person instead of delving into our own inner being.
For me, it's not necessarily about avoiding those quiet moments with myself (although at times it is), but more about learning more about my Self through others. This concept is widely accepted in spiritual communitiesāthe idea that we are all cut from the same fabric of the cosmos, reflections of universal consciousness. My relationships with others serve as a mirror through which I learn about myself, a sentiment that aligns with my Libra in the 1st house. Perhaps it's the traumas of past relationships that drive me to face and heal through conscious relating, a process that demands intimacy and vulnerabilityāterrifying, yet thrilling, much like a good horror film.
Allow me to introduce myself: Hi, my name is Deysi, and I am addicted to love. It might sound detrimental when phrased that way, as if craving boundless, expansive freedom when connecting with another heart is a bad thing. But the allure of the love drug isn't confined to the realm of physical intimacy; it extends to the rush experienced when connecting with friends, family, or co-workers. The feelings of belonging, understanding, and unificationāthe essence of unconditional loveāare what I yearn for in my day-to-day interactions.
The life I wish to live with others is one where contentment, a sense of purpose, and fulfillment knock at the door of my heart, and I welcome them with joy and gratitude. It seems like a simple aspiration, yet there always seems to be something pulling us away from our center, disrupting our connections, and compelling us to take the time to find our way back. To navigate through heartbreak, betrayal, abandonment, and fear to rediscover our center so we can authentically connect with othersāit's a tall order, my friends. A challenge we willingly face in the earthly school of life to live our truest potential as both spiritual and human beings. To this, I bid you good luck on your journey to an open heart.
Wishing you boundless connections and self-discovery,
PROMPTS FOR REFLECTION & INTEGRATION
What are the ways you use to find your way back into connection?
What are your secret addictions when it comes to intimacy and connection?
How do you find yourself behaving when asked to be vulnerable?
You can journal these or share with the class by replying directly or commenting.